Expectations

I had a lot of expectations going into pregnancy about how everything from pregnancy itself to labor and delivery would go. Besides the fact that I expected to have a baby and lo and behold I did, nothing else was how I thought or was told it was going to be. Everyone from friends, family, coworkers and a lady at the post office put in their 2 cents, and everyone from friends, family, coworkers and a lady at the post office were also incorrect in their predictions and expectations. The only person who told me correctly was (surprise, surprise) my doctor. I even took advice from Jan from The Office- she was also wrong and it was only slightly embarrassing when I questioned my nurse and doctor right after delivery and said "Well, on The Office, Jan said..." Anyway, for anyone having a baby anytime soon and have their own expectations, here are my expectations and here is what really happened**.

**Keeping with the tradition of all women, since it happened to me in my pregnancy, it will also happen to you.

Pregnancy

Expectation- I thought it would be easy, I never had morning sickness and always felt pretty good. I was told however, just to wait, eventually I would be miserable.

Reality- It was always easy, besides heartburn and being pretty uncomfortable towards the end, it was not the burden I had envisioned. Do I look forward to doing it again anytime soon? Absolutely not.

Labor

Expectation- From everything I've seen in movies and TV I knew there was going to be a lot of heavy breathing, screaming and Seth in my face telling me how great I was doing. I even told Seth beforehand if he got in my face I would politely (or not so politely) ask him to leave. 

Reality- Epidurals (when inserted correctly into your spinal cord, and not your vein- thanks, first weirdo anesthesiologist) are gifts from God. For the most part, sans epidural wearing off (again, thank you first Doc) and blood pressure dropping, labor was a piece of cake. Absolutely no pain, no heavy breathing and Seth at a comfortable distance. We played cards, watched Sports Center (really? on my one day, we're still watching ESPN?) and... actually... I think that's it. 

Induction

Expectation- I was induced electively for reasons I'm tired of defending (insert a lady at the post office). In fact, I quit telling people I was being induced because all I heard was negative reactions. I was told labor would be harder, longer and much more painful. My doctor was the only one who told me labor being induced was actually the same as labor started naturally. 

Reality- What do you know, my doctor knew what she was talking about! Induction was WONDERFUL. Like I said, labor was easy. It wasn't long by any means- they started the petocin at 7:00 AM, I started feeling uncomfortable contractions around 11:00 and I had a baby at 5:46 PM. And besides the epidural placed incorrectly episode, it wasn't at all painful. 

Delivery

Expectation- Pain, tears and poop.

Reality- No pain, no tears and no poop (I think... I'd rather go on blissfully ignorant than to learn otherwise). Delivery was not bad at all, it took a lot of work and I was definitely tired but again, just a lot of pushing, nothing like what I had expected.

Blood

Expectation- I knew I would bleed, I brought along my own .5 cm thick Always Infinity pads.

Reality- I knew I would bleed, I didn't know I would BLEED. Why does no one tell you about this? I thought it would go deliver baby then placenta- not baby, placenta and a 2 liter of blood and golf ball size blood clots. No one told me I'd need to wear 2 economy sized pads at the same time, each an inch thick, and still have to sit on a big sheet because I'd also leak through those. No one told me when getting out of bed I'd probably splatter blood all over the floor. The only thing I was told, was that this bleeding will last for 6 weeks. For those who think one of the great things about pregnancy is you don't have a period- just wait for the 6 week monsoon 9 months later. Give me a period any day. 

My baby boy

Expectation- To deliver a cone headed, alien looking boy I would adore.

Reality- I had a BEAUTIFUL, round headed boy who I can not explain how much I love. I never imagined I would love this baby so much- I never imagined this kind of love. He is the love of my life (KFC bowls at a close #2). He is perfect!

I'd like to end the post here on a sweet note but I have one more false expectation.

Pampers Swaddlers 

Expectation- To hold pee

Reality- Beck pees through these babies daily. We are constantly changing his pee soaked outfits not to mention my pee soaked outfits. Thanks Beck, because the blood wasn't enough. Any moms have any suggestions?? Is it the diaper? Is it diapering technique?